60 MINUTES

Things that I did, one lonely woman can in only 1 hour when I was left alone in my own home without children or husband to get ready for an event…

1. Took out the garbage and finished my chores
2. Got my clothes and items ready for tomorrow’s work day
3. Laid my phone/alarm clock out on the bedroom end table without fear that it would snatched and hid in some toy box before being allowed to complete its mission
4. Listened to the Sex and the City soundtrack without ridicule
5. Danced and sang out loud, once again, without ridicule
6. Relaxed and watched TV with the volume really really loud (once again and once again without ridicule – I have been chastised for wanting the volume too loud as apparently I’m going a little bit deaf) AND watched any channel other than TreeHouse
7. Had a shower without peekers
8. Shaved my legs without questions about what I am doing and why…
9. Laid my clothes out on the bed without fear of them getting a nice big ketchupy hug
10. Left the baby gate open
11. Actually got ready for the event, without help or questions, or changing twice because I got kissed with a face full of ketchup
12. Left my drink out on the counter within reach of, well, nobody now!
13. Ate some chocolate without sharing
14. Wrote this article
15. Realized, or rather remembered that, when given the chance, I am an extremely efficient person capable of accomplishing many excellent things in a short period of time


Thank you to my parents for taking the children and giving me the most fun hour I’ve had in a long time!

AM I THE ONLY ONE...?

1. Who has 5 items on my grocery list before I’ve finished unpacking my groceries from my current trip?
2. Who wonders where my boobs went?
3. Who irons my baby clothes?
4. Whose young ones take every opportunity to stick their hands down my shirt?
5. Who can bench press 200 lbs with one arm but has tendonitis in the other?
6. Who has called one of the kids by the dog’s name?
7. Who has a hard time switching off the “mommy voice”?
8. Who has screwed up the whole disciplinary process and paid for it for weeks by openly laughing at your kid sneezing milk out his nose?
9. Whose kid can properly order, in the right sequence, his Starbucks request? (kid’s lemonade with ice)
10. Who dreams of carrying a purse that is too small to carry a diaper in it?
11. Who feels like she’s getting a gift when she gets to go to Walmart ALONE?
12. Whose kids have more and better clothes than I do?
13. Who could make a meal just eating the food that falls off my kids
14. Who falls in love with my husband every time I see him cuddling one of our kids
15. Who jokes about ironing my baby clothes?