On a very rainy April 26, 2012 (Hope this is the end - they only have 1 pair of socks left without holes in them!) and Steve is walking with Tristan into the Dayhome and this is their conversation: "Look daddy,a worm" take a step "Look daddy, a worm" take a step (repeat) (repeat) (repeat) (repeat)

LEGACY

The continuance of family has been made so clear to me this week. How life repeats itself and how vital family is. I found myself at the beginning of this week out for coffee with my father and had a wonderful time - the only wonderful type of time you can have with someone who knows you inside out and where you don't have to say everything you're thinking but you want to and it's full of comfort and love. Later this week I found myself sitting across the coffee shop table from my son - with the same wonderful time and the same comfort and love.

I remember my grandfather waiting in the car in the church parking lot after church waiting for my grandmother. I also remember my father waiting in the same church parking lot, napping or praying the car waiting for me to finish my youth event so he could drive me home. And on Tuesday night I waited in the church lobby for my son while he was at a church event having a delightful time! I guess it's my turn to drive and wait and pray and I will do so with joy and ferverent prayers and lots and lots of love that I have from generations of loving parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles. thank you all for such a legacy.

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

I’m not sure if this makes me super-mom or super-pathetic-sneaky mom. It might explain; however, the times my children don’t sleep well through the night. I confess: I do things to my children when they are asleep. Yep, it started when my firstborn was a baby. I used to cut his nails when he was asleep. No twitching, no screaming and just like that the task was done. Phew! Actually I still cut my youngest son’s toenails while he sleeps. He absolutely WILL NOT let me cut them and will kick and scream and this is from the designated easy-going child, so, I wait until he is asleep and snip snip snip, all done.

I’ve cut their hair too while they slept. Just the eldest’s though – he’s the twitchy one in that respect, not, like the whole head, but just a few straggly pieces that otherwise would have been a battle from the dark side to accomplish.

I got caught though once. When my children were 4 and 6, they were running along the boardwalk and came home that night with tiny little wooden slivers in the bottoms of their feet that they wouldn’t let me pull out. So, after they were fast asleep, I snuck in and, armed with a little flashlight between my teeth and the tweezers in one hand and an iron grip on their little feet with the other I set about extracting the little itchy slivers. My husband peaked in at one point; started to say something, and then just turned around and walked away. Smart man. A while later when the eldest got another sliver in his foot and when I said we should take it out, his reply was “no, that’s okay, God will take it out while I sleep.” Um, okay. Thanks God for taking the rap on that one!

Ah, my adorable little squiggly kids. I’m sorry for your dreams of someone tickling your toes in the middle of the night but thank you for your patience in allowing all those other unpleasant tasks to take place during the daylight hours – I can’t even imagine how I would wash your hair…

2011

in 2011 my husband had a seizure which was later to be discovered as a brain tumour. How do you explain that to the boys? We told them daddy was sick and had to be in the hospital for a few days. At one point Tyler built an MRI machine from the train table and blocks and ropes and a whole bunch of other toys to take photos of daddy's head. It's not that I'm putting the boy in a box but um, it's safe to say Tyler has "engineer" type qualities! I'm glad Tristan was only 3 when this happened because he wasn't really old enough to process some of the events that went on. in December Steve went for surgery and that was harder for the boys because he was away from home longer - and when Steve got home he slept a lot. But he is fine and his energy is growing and the boys are getting their dad back. There is nothing like children to force you to focus and move on. I remember the day after Steve's seizure when we didn't know what was going on and Tristan looked at me and said "I'm hungry". My first thought was how dare you bother me with trivial things when my world is collapsing and then I looked closer at him and realized that my world is every little thing around me and God is at the centre saying TRUST ME. and I did and we at only peanut butter and honey sandwiches but the world went on and we smiled and laughed and God is faithful

BABY BOOK

I have done my best as a dutiful mother to fill out each line of the boys’ baby books. I watched intently to record the first step and the first laugh but think that there are a few very important milestones missing from your average baby book:

1. First burp
2. First time grandpa has to change a poopy diaper
3. First time someone says or does something to your first born that you don’t approve of and that “Mother Bear” instinct comes to you and you literally feel like ripping that person to shreds
4. First time they are big enough that you can give them a real proper two-arm hug and they hug you back
5. First time they pee in a public toilet
6. First time they pee on your neighbour’s tree
7. First time they pee off your deck (onto your parents’ car)
8. First time baby sleeps soundly in the arms of bachelor friend
9. First time you put the TP roll back on the actual toilet paper roll instead of hidden up in the cupboard so the children don’t roll it down the hallway
10. First time you wash their bed sheets because, well, it’s probably time, not because they spit up, or puked, or peed on them
11. First time they say, yeah broccoli!!!
12. First time they wear the same pair of pants 2 days in a row – not because it’s laundry day and there is nothing else to wear, but because they are still clean!
13. First time you realize they are going to do okay as a Canadian when they apologize for something they really didn’t do wrong
14. First time you leave the house with an absolutely clean shirt, even on the left-hand shoulder
15. First time they get your martini just right!

HOSPITALS ARE SO COOL!!!

How do you bring your children through a tragic and scary situation? A friend of mine had to explain to her three year old daughter that her grandmother died very suddenly and her daughter accepted the fact and when they go visit the grave, looks up, waves goodbye to heaven and says, “bye Grandma, I love you”. It is amazing to me how honest and practical children are with sickness and death.

Recently my husband needed to be hospitalized and I had to find a way to explain to the boys what happened. I am pleased that when the ambulance came the 4 year old was still sleeping so he doesn’t remember the experience and my 3 year old is still young enough to be totally excited to see an ambulance and paramedics – gotta love the simple joys of the young. My husband is fine but when I asked my 4 year old to pray with me to help Daddy get better he said he wouldn’t. That completely shocked me, but knowing my son, I asked him why. He said because sometimes he wanted to go to visit the hospital to visit daddy and say goodnight. What a lesson in seeing the treasure in the trial. There was no concern how everything would work out or stress about the situation, all they saw were the dazzling flashing lights of the rescue vehicles and the fun buttons and equipment of the hospital. I am listening my sweet young children, teach me, oh teach me.

TOAST

Did you know you can cut a piece of toast the wrong way? I cut the toast into triangles when they were supposed to be in squares. That was my mistake last night with my 2 year old (who is just turning 3 this month!). A couple of years ago, for child #1 (when HE was 2 years old) I cut his piece of toast in half instead of leaving it whole. Oops. The world ended that day, sorry about that. You would think that after 4 years I would be getting better at cutting toast. I tried the “let’s glue the piece back together with jam” angle. Nope, that didn’t work. The only thing I didn’t do was make a whole new piece of toast. It might sound cruel, but all I could see was a future of making things over and over again because of a tired little tenacious child.

I feel like I am a bundle of blunders and mistakes, trying to keep up with the latest wish of the gods! You know, doing something for them when they can “DO IT MYSELF!!!”, or serving them cheese strings instead of cheese slices. Maybe my children are ubber-picky but I’m trying to find a balance between serving them and being their servant. I even built the train track wrong – it was supposed to be BIGGER, or was it supposed to be longer…sigh. Good thing my self-confidence doesn’t rest on the whims of little boys.

So, as I endeavor to improve on my toast cutting and train-track building and wish my new little 3 year old a Happy Birthday– I’m going to try my best not to tick you off this year and pray you do the same for me -- Love, your (longsuffering) mother.