WHO ME?

The most difficult thing that I had to get my head around when my son was born, was that I had a new part to my identity. Not one of those blessed people who grew up wanting and preparing for children, I was at quite a loss as to how to act and even how to perceive myself as “mother”. I remember one day my own father telling my then toddler son to go see mom and didn’t even turn to greet him, because in my mind he was going to see mom, you know, MY mom, the only mom. Oops.

Well, now hearing, mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom (you get the idea) has sunk in the idea that these, now two boys, are in fact my children, I am their mom, my own mother has graduated to nana, and this is not in fact the most underpaid babysitting gig of my life.

Every day I learn something new about the part of my identity that is mom. And with joy I have chosen to lay aside a number of other parts of myself to allow the mom part to grow and love and give and learn. I still cling to taking care of my health and my spirit and get up hours earlier than the household to embrace that small time to find peace and healing for my mind, my body, and my soul. In this season in my life where I am called mom more often than Chantelle, I am sowing seeds for what I believe will be a beautiful harvest in another season to come.

I'LL SEE YOUR "WHY MOMMY?" AND RAISE YOU A "WHAT KIND OF?"

I have been best friends with Michelle since we were 5 years old. She had her first baby just 5 weeks before my first, and has since been my tip-off to what is coming next in my firstborn’s development. As her child is a girl, 5 weeks older, and definitely on the advanced side of things, I usually have some prep time before my eldest shows the same signs.

Michelle is now going through, the “why” stage. Everything is “why mommy” from her little girl. So I have therefore been watching my kid very closely for signs of the “why”. Instead I think I am dealing with something just as amusing (or frustrating). I have entered the “what kind of” zone.

Let me explain:
Me: Look at the digger
Him: What kind of digger?
Me: A yellow digger
Him: What kind of yellow digger?
Me: A big yellow digger
Him: What kind of big yellow digger?

You see where this is going. This is where my husband tries to see how much the boy can remember and continues the adjective game on and on…

I told him the other day that we were going to go somewhere tomorrow – and of course, he asked me “what kind of tomorrow”. How do you not laugh.

Sigh. And sometimes cry a little.

We may still get to “why why why why why why” but until then, “what kind of why?”.

60 MINUTES

Things that I did, one lonely woman can in only 1 hour when I was left alone in my own home without children or husband to get ready for an event…

1. Took out the garbage and finished my chores
2. Got my clothes and items ready for tomorrow’s work day
3. Laid my phone/alarm clock out on the bedroom end table without fear that it would snatched and hid in some toy box before being allowed to complete its mission
4. Listened to the Sex and the City soundtrack without ridicule
5. Danced and sang out loud, once again, without ridicule
6. Relaxed and watched TV with the volume really really loud (once again and once again without ridicule – I have been chastised for wanting the volume too loud as apparently I’m going a little bit deaf) AND watched any channel other than TreeHouse
7. Had a shower without peekers
8. Shaved my legs without questions about what I am doing and why…
9. Laid my clothes out on the bed without fear of them getting a nice big ketchupy hug
10. Left the baby gate open
11. Actually got ready for the event, without help or questions, or changing twice because I got kissed with a face full of ketchup
12. Left my drink out on the counter within reach of, well, nobody now!
13. Ate some chocolate without sharing
14. Wrote this article
15. Realized, or rather remembered that, when given the chance, I am an extremely efficient person capable of accomplishing many excellent things in a short period of time


Thank you to my parents for taking the children and giving me the most fun hour I’ve had in a long time!

TROUBLE AND CHEEKY

I would like to introduce you to Trouble and Cheeky. I have two sons. Cheeky is 3 years old and Trouble is 15 months old as of yesterday.

I know it goes against all of the parenting books to label your children, especially to the point that the eldest actually refers to his brother as Trouble.

Cheeky is a firstborn, cautious and self-aware. He is also determined, smart, sensitive and loving but independent, my introvert, and definitely cheeky.

Trouble on the other hand, has his father’s easy going calm nature and a great sense of adventure. I am still learning about him, but he is fun and free and happy and cute beyond measure.

When Cheeky falls off a chair (or some other hypothetical situation, ahem…) I believe he thinks, “you know, that hurt an awful lot, I shall be more careful the next time I am on that chair.” (I’m not that far off, for some unknown reason – this child actually uses the word “shall” – don’t look at me).

Now Trouble on the other hand, should he ever fall off a chair, he will think, “you know, that hurt an awful lot, but not THAT much, let us find somewhere higher and see what happens…”

I remember my friend talking about her daughter how she had a thousand names for her – all from love.

And that’s like my Trouble and Cheeky. They are also Squeaky and Squishy, angel and cherished one, stinky bum and well, stinky bum, and many more. There are too many emotions and situations to only call them by just one name. Also, I hope they develop a good sense of humour about themselves too – we might as well laugh at ourselves, to quote Joyce Meyer “we’re about the funniest thing we know”.

KETCHUP

Generally I’m not a “THAT’s not going to happen to MY kid” kind of person, I’m more a, “I wonder WHEN that will happen with us???”

Except for ketchup. Sorry, but personally I’m not that big a fan of ketchup, it has sugar in it and vinegar. I use vinegar to clean my floors, not much for eating it.

When my firstborn was just learning to eat, I was chatting with a co-worker and she was telling me a story of her nephew who only eats if it’s dipped in ketchup. For the one and only time, I thought, I would rather that not happen to my son. And I actually was doing a good job at it. Our treat at our weekly visit to the zoo was always French fries, and since I don’t eat ketchup with mine, neither of us did. We were on our way to at least a little healthy living, or so I thought.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not a complete anti-sugar fanatic or health freak, but I just didn’t want THAT kid, you know the one that asks Grandma for ketchup on the Christmas Turkey dinner (yuck).

Anyways – I forgot about him. You know, the father. He is a ketchup eater and one day, daddy made grilled cheese dipped in ketchup, and the story completely changed. The red stuff is our staple, or maybe it’s just the act of dipping, that seems to be pretty popular too. Anyways, I did have to draw the line the other day, when somehow, between eating off his dad’s plate and the breakfast I’d given him, the second born dipped his waffles in ketchup, now that’s just not quite right…

QUICK RANT

I recently read an article that touched on equality in the workplace citing that women work on average 37 hours a week and men 43 or something like that.

All THAT tells me is that the women work more efficiently.

AM I THE ONLY ONE...?

1. Who has 5 items on my grocery list before I’ve finished unpacking my groceries from my current trip?
2. Who wonders where my boobs went?
3. Who irons my baby clothes?
4. Whose young ones take every opportunity to stick their hands down my shirt?
5. Who can bench press 200 lbs with one arm but has tendonitis in the other?
6. Who has called one of the kids by the dog’s name?
7. Who has a hard time switching off the “mommy voice”?
8. Who has screwed up the whole disciplinary process and paid for it for weeks by openly laughing at your kid sneezing milk out his nose?
9. Whose kid can properly order, in the right sequence, his Starbucks request? (kid’s lemonade with ice)
10. Who dreams of carrying a purse that is too small to carry a diaper in it?
11. Who feels like she’s getting a gift when she gets to go to Walmart ALONE?
12. Whose kids have more and better clothes than I do?
13. Who could make a meal just eating the food that falls off my kids
14. Who falls in love with my husband every time I see him cuddling one of our kids
15. Who jokes about ironing my baby clothes?